Thanks for stopping by. So March’s lockdown saw all my stand up gigs cancelled. Luckily the weather was amazing so initially I busied myself with veg growing, chickens and bee keeping.
However, there’s still an itch to scratch. A few years ago I started working on a one off episode about a couple having a second internet date. My friend and fellow stand up Dave Spikey read it, edited and added a few thoughts and said some kind things. I had some interest off a Big Broadcasting Company who’s commissioning editors initial interest went from naming potential directors to within two weeks saying ‘could I make it more like Derry Girls’. Well!……………….As my Aunty in Tipperary would say…
Anyway one Episode grew into six and I liked the idea of The Britons Protection pub being a feature in all six. The pub has had a place in my heart following my first ever attempt at stand up was there one Wednesday night nearly 300 years ago now. I especially love the BP’s in the winter.
Right so…All the episodes intertwine. In Ep One we meet Ian and Stella. In this ep we also briefly meet Grace and Veronica (ep 2) and The Bartender (ep 3) and so on. The Episodes are:
1) Ian and Stella (Date 2)
2) Grace and Veronica
3) The Bartender and the Polish Girl
4) Keith and his wife, Anne
5) Ian and Stella (Date 3)
6) The Britons Protection
I’m looking at filming episode one this Winter. I have several actors willing but I need to find a crew and more importantly pay them something. So I thought I’d see if I could raise any money via crowdfunding. If you could spare anything from £1 upwards that would be truly amazing. If you are a techie, an actor, a musician and interested and would like to know more please get in touch.
As the late, great Tony Wilson said ‘This is Manchester. We do things differently here’. Below is the link to YouTube and the closing credits.
Much Love and Best Wishes
The Britons Protection
Comedy Drama by
Episode One: Ian and Stella (Date 2)
Manchester. Internet dating. Its how a lot of people meet nowadays. It’s a bit of a minefield. Especially when your hearts not really in it. Listening to music and leaning, with one leg tucked up, is IAN. IAN’s in his early 40’s. Smartly dressed yet holding a plastic bag with his home grown celeriac. Some of this celeriac ‘just isn’t up to it’. He bins it. Nervously flicking through the music on his IPhone he looks up. STELLA is on a passing tram and playfully giving him the ‘V-sign’.
STELLA thinks she enjoyed the 1st date. She did listen to Ian’s fanciful life theories and she was genuinely grateful for the 6 eggs he brought her (he keeps chickens). She laughed out loud afterwards that he’d brought eggs. She put them on the passenger seat and had to slam on in traffic on the way home and made an impromptu omelette in her Fiats’ foot well. She didn’t laugh at that. Now. Date two……………………………
Opening Scene. Near Bridgewater Hall
WE CATCH UP WITH THE COUPLE AS THEY ARE NEGOTIATING THE TRAFFIC IN THE BUSY CITY. ITS EARLY DAYS BUT ONE THING THEY QUICKLY ESTABLISHED IS THEIR MUTUAL LOVE OF THE BAND ELBOW’S MUSIC. IAN ON HIS IPHONE PLAYS SOME OF HIS FAVOURITES….
Turn it up. I love Guy Garvey. I’m going to marry him
You can’t he’s already married
He isn’t! (BEAT) Is he? Who to?
Beyoncé! Is he bloody hell as like
Either Beyoncé or her off Countryfile
Ian. You are genuinely off your head
Well. How’s your week been Stella?